In today’s day and age, why do the mommy wars still exist? Why are we still debating over breast-feeding vs. bottle feeding? Cloth diapers vs. Pampers? Stay at home moms vs. working moms? And now, after the release of the now infamous TIME magazine article, the war has been refueled. So, it got me thinking. Why is this still even an issue? After all, aren’t we all just women with children (a.k.a. Moms) trying to do the best we can? Why do some women feel it necessary to criticize and critique other women’s ability to parent? I can only speculate that it stems from their own inadequacies and feelings of guilt. But, that is a blog for another day! And let’s not allow the media off the hook for perpetuating this so-called war. They are just as liable at fueling this fire, but if we ban together, we can extinguish it once and for all.
How many times have your gotten in a screaming match with your kids only to feel guilty afterwards?
Secret #1 Your child’s behavior is not about you.
It’s about them and you need to stop trying to manage their feelings. According to Don Miguel Ruiz’s book “The Four Agreements” he states that as soon as we take what someone else does or says personally, we become “trapped in personal importance.” “Personal importance, or taking things personally is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about “me”. He further explains “nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”
Here is a good resource to handle those times when your child is a bit out of control
Is your pattern one in which you try to manage him in other ways as well? Do you carry the common parenting myth that you’re responsible for the outcome of your child’s behaviors, feelings and thoughts? If you believe you’re …
Secret #2 Smile…then whisper. You can’t yell when you are smiling.
Ever try to yell while smiling or even singing. It’s virtually impossible. But, once you have calmed down, you can rationally talk (and talk is the key word here) to you kids. I then, whisper to them. You should see their faces! They, first, have no clue as to what you are saying so they also now have to come closer to you and actually listen. And, we learned at an early age, that anything that is being whispered MUST be something secretive worth listening to. Therefore, your child is more apt to pay attention to a whisper rather than us yelling at them YET AGAIN. We also need to remind ourselves that no one is perfect, that we should be enjoying this time with our kids, and that life should be fun — and funny. Smile, laugh, be happy. Doesn’t always work, but it’s good to remind yourself of this now and then.
For some of us, time management is a total drag. But, with kids, it is truly a necessity. And, if we don’t manage our time, our time will manage us! Here are some great articles to help you manage your time!
One of my favorite articles:
I’m almost positive starting to think that I may not have ever actually tried to manage my time better. Lately I am a woman on a mission because I have a lot of irons in the fire and I can’t afford to waste too much time.
For those of you who DON’T like to manage your time:
Managing Time. Managing Ourselves. Sunday, May 13, 2012. Time. Time is his name. He creeps around and you never really realize how long he has been there. He’s always there. He is an invention. A man made construction. He is a …